Going through a divorce can be extremely difficult on the parents as they will have to adapt to life without their partner likely after a number of years in marriage. However, what parents must realize is that they are not the only ones who will be suffering during the season of divorce, and the many years following. For children, a split can be an extremely difficult season of life, which is why it is the responsibility of the parents to help these children walk step by step through these rough waters. Here are a few helpful tips to consider when walking your children through the process of your divorce.
First, you must remember that while communication is extremely beneficial for their understanding of the changing situation, you do not want your children to become your confidants. Never discuss the arguments or money problems that you and your spouse are having, this will create a lot of pressure on their lives and leave them to either worry or feel responsible for your problems. Contact a therapist of a friend your age to discuss these details. Next, while you may be dealing with a lot of hard feelings for your ex, make sure you don't talk poorly of them in front of the children. Again, this can leave them to feel responsible as well as deal with the pressure of having to choose sides between their parents.
When going through a divorce, if it is at all possible, try not to introduce too many changes into their lives at once. For example, if you're able to keep them in the same school and have the same friends even though housing situations are changing, that may be extremely beneficial for their transitioning through the divorce. As parents, It is also very common for us to want to make our children happy, and rightly so. However, when it comes to a divorce, beware of trying to fix the problem by parenting differently or not being as strict or buying those new presents. You and your ex need to parent as you would on any given day during the time of the divorce, as the more consistent and firm you are as their parent, the better they will get through the divorce in the long run.
Another helpful tip to consider is that when walking your children through your divorce, makes sure you explain that the separation is not their fault and that nothing they didn't or did do made you decide to end the marriage. Affirming your love for the children during this time is also very important, to help them remember that no matter what happens with their parents' marriage, and they are still loved by their mom and dad. Encourage open communication with your children as well. Let them know that they can share their feelings and struggles with you during this time. If they are having difficult time opening up to you as parents, let them know that they can talk to a professional or trusted friend to help them work through these feelings during the divorce. Letting the kids talk about what they are going through is vital to helping them move forward after their parents split.
In the event that you and your spouse are looking for a Mission Viejo divorce attorney, please contact the Hunter Law Group today for the trusted legal professional you deserve at your side. At our firm, we will do whatever we can to help you walk through this process of the divorce, addressing the many facets associated with it. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you!